You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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