Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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