What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
