Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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