I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
