PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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