i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
