Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
