your room smells of hookers.
And success
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
