i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
