if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
