I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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