Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
