he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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