i would punch a child for taco bell
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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