I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
