First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
