We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
