bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
