Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
