K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
