How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
