i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
