nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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