She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
