I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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