this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
