she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Randomize
