Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
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