Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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