it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
