you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
