this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
FUCK WHALES
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