I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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