Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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