I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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