If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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