I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
