i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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