you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
