No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
