At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
