I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You may now shotgun with the bride
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I am naked and annoyed.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
