oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
