Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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