I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
