I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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