He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
