it wasn't lemon gatorade
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
