i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
soo... how was my night?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
