She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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