You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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