he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Randomize
